Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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