Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
