thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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