I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
