i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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