I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
