ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
