Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
