He told me they were just razor bumps!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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