It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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