There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
