we made out on top of his cat.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Randomize
