I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
