the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
