They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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