i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
