I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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