wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
