I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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