But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
two words...techno handjob
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
