No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
