apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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