theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
