I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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