Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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