after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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