somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
