Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Best friends brother. Beat that.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
