Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize