Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
