He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
