I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
