We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
