so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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