Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
