I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
