are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
