Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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