I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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