is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
