and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
