I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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