do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
