My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He passed out mid-signature
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
