it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
