but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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