her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
