who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
