oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
