he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
