Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just high enough for therapy.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize