Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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