No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
