I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize