i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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