Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize