Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
