wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
