Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
