Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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