His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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