break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
